You may know from yesterday’s teaching that God is doing some deep work in my heart. From a personal perspective it has been a rough few days, however, I know that in the end, I will be a much better person for it.
A friend called me this morning to talk about the writing ‘Remember NOT.’ As we were talking he began to share a season with me that was very difficult for him. He shared how his business was failing. He shared how it tormented him as the provider of his family, yet he couldn’t let it go. He said ‘I gave God my business, but He didn’t want my business, He wanted me.’ As he continued telling me his story, my attention stopped at that last sentence. He didn’t want my business, He wanted me.
I began to think about some additional things God dealt with me about as I was writing the teaching called ‘Remember NOT.’ It was a tough thing to swallow for me, I didn’t want to write about it because it was so sensitive. I didn’t want it to hurt anyone reading it and I knew it had the potential to. You see, I know many of our readers and what they have gone through and I wouldn’t hurt them for anything. Yet here it was again and God was dealing with me again and telling me WHY He needed me to let go of these people. The people I am referring to are the family members that have gone on to be with the Lord – I have allowed that loss, or those losses to torment me a great deal of the time. There are times I think of them with peace and joy but mostly it is another tool of torment for me. God is telling me to put that behind me as well, that season of loss, losing my Dad, my brother and my sister. It sounds so cruel to say but I know that is what He is saying. They are gone, and He doesn’t see it as loss, it was gain for them. I have to somehow find the strength to see it from His perspective. I have to think like God thinks. It is the only way I can be made whole.
I looked up the word ‘whole’ in the Bible. Jesus often said ‘Be made whole’ and they were. I wanted to know what He was saying to them. To be made whole is to cause to increase and grow, it is inward Christian growth as well as healing in our bodies. Jesus wants us always growing, always increasing in our Christian walk. Often, to grow and increase He must cut things away and cut things out of our inward life, especially things that are hurting us and causing us to stop growing. As I stated in a previous teaching ‘If we are holding on to things God is done with in our lives, we are missing God’s next thing for us.’
When my friend said ‘God didn’t want my business, He wanted me’ I knew exactly why God was compelling and demanding me to let go of some things and people in my life. He wants me…all of me. He doesn’t want anything else or anyone else, regardless of how much I love them, to have a part of me. When I allow things and people to each have a part of me, God is not getting all of me. It is as if I have little parts of me scattered about – God doesn’t have all of me, neither am I whole.
You only have to read through the Bible in Exodus, Deuteronomy and Nahum to find that our God is a jealous God – He wants all of us. He knows the only way we can be made whole is if He has all of us and we have all of Him.
I have allowed people and seasons of disappointment in my life to keep little parts of me, it is no wonder I don’t feel whole. I have to take those pieces back and give them to God – in doing so, I will be made whole.
One of my favorite words is Shalom. It is a covenant word that means nothing broken and nothing missing. Today, I ask you to search your heart and see if you are SHALOM – is there anything broken or missing in your life? Have you given people little parts of you? If so, take them back and give them to God. It’s time to move into the next season and we need to move into it WHOLE in Christ.
Don’t keep things in front of your face that torment you – even if they are things that remind you of those who have gone before you – give them to God, once and for all, if they are with God, they are WHOLE and they would want you WHOLE as well and not dwelling on the past – put it behind you and move on. I know it is not easy, it is not easy for me, but I have prayed and ask God to give me HIS strength to let them go and leave them in that past season, knowing I will see them again. That’s frankly all I can do. You can too.